5 Wedding Don'ts That You Never Thought You'd Hear

Long gone are the days when weddings were expected to be "proper". The days when you were required to have the correct table settings, stationary with perfect wording, conduct yourself with dignity and not get to rambunctious, and; lets not forget the most important thing, your dress had to be white! Thank goodness we don't play by those rules anymore. Now weddings are actually fun! But with all the fun there are still details that we have difficulty deciding over because we want one thing and our loved ones think it should be something else. Some of the rules of Emily Post may come into play when you consult with your grandmother, whom you adore or your have that one bridesmaid who is a hippie at heart and thinks you should slide down a rainbow for your aisle walk. Okay, I know that was extreme but you get my point...everyone's an expert!

One favorite saying of family and friends when it comes to helping with your wedding is, "Whatever makes you happy". But it sometimes means, "Go ahead and go with what you say you want but I think its a bad idea". Well I'm here to tell you, "Do whatever makes you happy," and I actually mean it! If you are still not quite sure what I mean, here are five wedding don't that you never thought you'd hear:

1. Your flower girl/ringbearer DON'T have to be toddlers! They don't even have to be children for that matter. I consulted a bride once who was concern because she didn't have children in her family and none of her friends had children. She was trying to figure out where she was going to "get" some children because she always envisioned walking down the aisle on petals. What do you mean "get" some children?! Was she planning on buying some child actors or something?  Why would you want random, strange kids in your photos so one day, when you and your husband are celebrating 5, 10, 20 years of marriage, you can't even remember who the heck those kids were. So I asked if she had any teenagers that she knew and was close with. It turned out she had a niece in middle school who she loved dearly and a male cousin in high school. I suggested she use them. She had to sit with the idea for a minute but finally she decided that it was adorable and it worked out beautifully. No one scolded her for using teenagers.
2. Your guests DON'T have to be seated at the ceremony! If you are having an intimate or outdoor wedding. You can "86" the chairs and choose to have your quests stand for the ceremony. One idea that I thought was beautiful was all the guests encircled the officiant and the couple and surrounded them with their love. If you love having the energy and closeness of everyone you love why not? But a few things to consider; let your guests no this ahead of time so they know what to expect, be on time because you don't want everyone standing for too long, and no long-winded minister!
   
3. You DON'T have to send out thank you cards! I bet your thinking...WHAT! I'm just thinking of that bride who will probably not get them done anyway because she hates writing, can't think of anything to say, and her penmanship looks like chicken scratch. Instead maybe consider a personal phone call once you've opened all your gifts. That way you can chat a little about the wedding (what bride doesn't like that) and express how much having them there meant to you. You may even ask suggested uses of the odd shaped thing they got you that you thought mashed potatoes but actually is used for coffee. Let's be honest thank you cards usually end up in the trash once they are read anyway. The only people you should make sure you write something personal to is your attendants, parents/grandparents, and anyone who is special like an aunt who sat in your mother's absence. You may also consider using ecards or a heartfelt text to that one friend who never answers her phone. 
4. You DON'T have to wear a white dress, or a dress for that matter!
   
   Most bridal stores only carry ivory dresses because that is the sought-after color right now but you see more champagne and pink gowns filling the racks these days too. Some brides want to be unconventional all together and rock a black ensemble for their special day. It doesn't matter the color of your gown as long as you feel amazing in it. Your style should represent well, YOU. If you are a bride that usually wouldn't be caught dead in a skirt or a normal day, why buy one for your wedding? Bridal pantsuits have come a long way. You don't have to look like a man when you don some slacks.  There are feminine cuts that are very elegant and you can still feel like a lady, just ask Solange. She pulled off a pantsuit for her wedding that had numerous brides opting for that style on their day.
5. Lastly, you DON'T have to follow ANY rules! Your wedding is suppose to tell you and your mate's story. You may have loved ones to consider in your planning and that is perfectly fine but don't lose who you are in the process. If your first mind says you don't like something,
   
   speak up. You don't want to look back on the one day that you will never get again (hopefully) and regret it. Now I am not saying be rude or inconsiderate, everything can be done with love and kindness. If there are some things that you don't feel passionate about and mom would like for you to include them then by all means but if she asking you to wear her ballgown that she married your father in 40 years ago and you're planning a beach wedding then maybe a little conversation needs to happen. 

Hopefully, these recommendations won't get you disowned from the family or unfriended on Facebook. What I hope it does is allow for the best day of your life! One that you both will look back on with pride and great memories. 

McKinley Bridal 😄